The Wine Bar

Two hours, possibly three. Not dinner exactly — something better.

The wine bar occupies a specific and underused niche in the date night repertoire. It is more relaxed than a restaurant and more focused than a bar. The seating is usually close. The lighting is usually right. The menu is something you can share from rather than commit to, which leaves room for the conversation to be the main event.

Find a place that takes the list seriously without being pompous about it. The good ones have staff who will talk to you honestly about what they like and what’s drinking well right now, not just recite notes. Ask them what they’d be drinking tonight if they were sitting where you’re sitting. Order that.

A bottle works better than by-the-glass for this kind of evening — it establishes a pace and removes the decision overhead (plan for something in the $45–80 range; the $55 bottle at a good wine bar is often as interesting as the $120 bottle at a restaurant). Natural wine programs tend to attract curious, invested staff. If the list has a thoughtful section of orange wines or unfamiliar regions, that’s usually a good sign about the rest of the cellar.

Order things to share and don’t over-order. The point isn’t to be full when you leave. A cheese board, something cured, something with bread — enough to slow the drinking down and give your hands something to do (a good spread costs between $30 and $55 and should sustain two people through most of a bottle). If they have something fried and small, order it. Almost everything fried and small goes with almost everything.

What makes this format work for a date is the lack of ceremony. You’re sitting close enough that you can share a glass if you want to. The noise level is usually at the good register — present enough to create atmosphere, low enough that you don’t have to raise your voice. You’re not performing dinner. You’re just there.

Order a second pour when the bottle is done if you’re not ready to leave. Or leave. The wine bar scales in both directions.

Find your local equivalent

Search “natural wine bar” or “wine bar charcuterie” in your city. The good ones tend to cluster in neighborhoods with independent retail — arts districts, older commercial streets, wherever the interesting restaurants are moving. If the list is longer than two pages and organized by region rather than grape, you’ve found the right place. If they have a coravin program and a well-chosen half-bottle selection, stay a while.

Names that come up

Wildair and Ten Bells in New York. Bar Covell in Los Angeles. Ordinaire in Oakland. Perman Wine Selections in Chicago. Teutonic in Portland. These aren’t the only good ones — most cities have something comparable now. What you’re looking for is a room where the people behind the bar are clearly drinking the same list they’re pouring.

dining  ·  going-out  ·  any-stage  ·  wine  ·  relaxed  ·  sharing  ·  two-hours  ·  low-key  ·  charcuterie  ·  intimate